Women are a different species.....

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Look ..its not just me that thinks like this. my mate perry sent me this.....( your in trouble if zoe reads this.)

...........yes dear.. no dear.. whatever you say dear...sorry dear..

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Going back over what I said about foolish and stupid men who think they are in charge,
take a look at this. ( click on pic to read it)
This was a grave they found when building the new "cop-shop " in town, this couple were buried together nearly 1,500 years ago ,the woman is on the right ( .......the one with its mouth open.!!!.....(you can tell can't you ?)..).
This poor bloke looks like he's had over thousand years of bollockings and has been beaten into submitting years ago,.. note the worried look and the hunched shoulders.
You can live with it if you know how to play the game...duel mind mode... thats the trick!!.
This is when you just pick up on key words like...money...food ....bills... and say ...what do you mean?????...this normally throws them and they go through the last bit again ...(but you must listen to it cos it my involve havening to do something). Learn to spot trouble before it happens if you can, so you've got an answer when it all becomes apparent that it's all your fault ,'cos they boil it all down .....and it.. IS.!!..(.but only if you use womans logic ).

Britans oldest recorded.. ( shit just happens !!)

1. ...Did you know.. the nursery rhyme "Humpty Dumpty" is said to of started at the sige of colchester when the cannon (..poor old humpty..) belonging to the royalists and was fired by a (possibly dutch )gunner and is said to have had only one eye....,(..ie.. all the kings men.), was blown off the top of St Marys church tower ( you can see where the tower has been mended).and they had to surrender ..........hurrahh !!....but not until the woman of the town lay down and said "please shoot us we don't want to starve to death" the royalists felt bad and surrendered ( rescued by woman .. ...again for a 2nd time.!!) ...But rest assured they didn't have scrambled egg for tea.!. they got shot !! It was all Lucas's and Goring's fault ,in the civil war they went and gave it the big'un down in kent then ran away, but being hooray henry's with the intelligence somewhere between a cuttlefish and a line dancer, one of them lived here and ran home with all his mates ,we hated the basted and wouldn't let them in but they won in the end 'cos all his family and some more of his mates were still living here so we had the buggers outside the gates ..and .in here with us !... we didn't stand a chance, but not till after a huge scrap !! Fairfax and the bloody roundhead's army turned up 12 hours later and layed siege to the town.!!The hooray's then beat and killed some of the blokes raped our woman and pinched all our food ( see ref to sushi in last post..) 'cos during the siege we had to eat the cat.!!... and .. anything else that moved and wasn't big enough to fight back, the more enterprising of us were selling 1/2 a dog for 6.d ...thats 25 quid in todays money. the relay poor were on rat and mutton fat candles .....see!( bloody public schoolboys come marching in here ..shut the gates..and say " we are stealing your town --give us your grub!!"................bastards..(. the fu@%king romans did that to us as well .!....and we had to be rescued by a.. woman for the 1st time (Boudica )!!. (it is a stupid and foolish man who thinks he's in charge.) ).And then to top it all off parliament went and fined the town for letting the twat's in in the ..first .place so not only did we have a completely trashed town and no grub we had to pay for the privilege of it all. ( we made the dutch weavers pay half 'cos there was more of us than them .....and they were a long- long way from where there mates were in Holland.. they were all probably stoned anyway..). Then in 1665 (or there abouts ) we all got the plague..!!! which goes to show you .............SHIT JUST HAPPENS ..!!!!

Shed thoughts 2 .....ref to the coment on the one bellow this.

If I wanted to eat raw fish I would have been a Seal!!! (..... could have been a seal as it goes ......if i had the right parents of course... but turned out to be a walrus (see photo at top of page) short,fat bald bloke with a hairy face.....thank you very much!!). yer know the reason for eating raw fish is 'cos he (or) she wasn't allowed to cook it . 'cos the overlords stole the fire.! It's like shark fin soup and bird nest soup ,.....some other bugger has eaten the rest and that's all they left you so it's eat it or die,... or.......they were incredibly stoned and had a raging attack of the munchies ........................... ( you know how it is )........... hey here's one.. I call it pot noodle cooking , Take one pot noodle of your choice a small uncut loaf of bread a packet of crisps and a sausage roll. Cut end off bread, and scoop out middle, make pot noodle really sloppy ,crunch up crisps ,break sausage roll into bits ( about 1/2 inch long) ,pour noodle into the the hollowed out bread mix in crisps and s/roll give it a few mins to soak into the bread,use the stuff you've just scooped out to dip in, ...........enjoy............mm..mm....mmmmmm..!! ( builders food !!). invented at 2.am (outofface)......( allegedly )..

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Shed thoughts.1

As we go through life we only get one go at it ... " THIS IS NOT A FIRE DRILL.!!..... I don't care what the religions say . once your dead your worm food , feeding the fishes ,or your adding to the pollution with your funeral pyre ,so get out there and DO IT . Don't sit and wonder what something is like , have a go you don't know what you can do till you try, if it takes your fancy ( with the exclusion of --- Incest , --sushi ,--and cat poo.) ( bloody cats use my garden as the local loo ) As we all put our arm up the back side of the cow of life we must go through all the crap to get hold of the calf of new beginning's . If you don't want it to happen to you ...............Don't do it to someone else........Rest easy and.....PARTY ON !!!!!!!.....